


One Bite Won't Satisfy The Broken

by bubblegumclouds



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Cute, Eating Disorders, Famous!Louis, Fanboy!Harry, Fluff, HUGE trigger warning for eating disorders, I'm being stupid, M/M, Pet Names, Sickness, anyway, anyway enjoy, larry - Freeform, please don't read if you're triggered, stay safe cuties, this is really unrealistic but I really like it even though Louis falls in love too quick, whoops long tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-16
Updated: 2015-07-16
Packaged: 2018-04-09 15:29:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4354349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubblegumclouds/pseuds/bubblegumclouds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry has problems that Louis couldn't have ever anticipated and it brings a bitter taste to a sweet day. Can you really save someone by being their idol? Well, Louis is sure gonna try his damn hardest. </p><p>(Or, my personally made up AU – a famous!Louis AU with Fanboy!Harry, Louis sees Harry commenting on every tweet/instagram/facebook status he puts up and Harry is really sweet and he also happened to mention which show of Louis' he'll be at and what time he's coming so Louis wants to go out and find him however Louis quickly realises that something is very wrong with Harry. Louis' POV. Louis is about 19 in this and Harry is about 18.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Bite Won't Satisfy The Broken

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys, I'm sorry I've been gone for a while! I was on holiday but now I'm back with a few things in the works so enjoy! This is one I was working on for a while, a little unrealistic but I hope you like it anyway! feedback is always good and my twitter is @cutierobandrich, thanks!

My personally made up AU – a famous!Louis AU with Fanboy!Harry, Louis sees Harry commenting on every tweet/instagram/facebook status he puts up and Harry is really sweet and he also happened to mention which show of Louis' he'll be at and what time he's coming so Louis wants to go out and find him however Louis quickly realises that something is very wrong with Harry. Louis' POV. Louis is about 19 in this and Harry is about 18.

I quickly type out another rushed, half-assed tweet that probably has a billion spelling mistakes the fans are gonna make fun of but I shrug to myself and send it hastily anyway. The second the little shaded notification pops up saying 'tweet sent!' appears and I look out for the one person who is constantly commenting, finding him a mere few seconds later. I don't know what it is about him but he's super sweet and his messages always put a beaming smile on my face. One day it will read 'Hi Lou, have a good day beautiful and remember to love your body!' another will be 'How you doing Lou? Look after yourself! Try to sleep and eat right :)' and they always stand out so easily from the seemingly endless spam and the strange dirty tweets which I still don't quite understand. The thing is, this hasn't just been going on for a few weeks, this has been going on for months and I do feel a bit rude not to ever reply even though I look out for his tweet on a daily bases but maybe one day I will make it up to him. Scrolling for a while, I saw today's message which was a little different, it read 'Lou! Just bought a ticket to come and see you in London! Gonna get the train down 6 hours early to meet you!'. I smiled as I fumbled the phone around my large hands and I screenshotted the tweet. I had a brilliant idea.

'Yooo, thank you Manchester peeps, amazing show tonight ! London, coming for ya !' I tweeted out, amused at the fans reactions to my stupid language. It had been a few days since I had the idea and now my show in London was tomorrow. Of course, after I sent the Manchester tweet, he was there straight away writing about how he's waited years to see me live and now he finally was going to and I smirked with mischief coating my expression as tomorrow I was going to find him and thank him for his overwhelming kindness. I literally couldn't wait.

I woke up in the city of London, just like always, fall asleep in one place, wake up in another. Today I was a little more excited and impatient than usual though and I couldn't stay still, I wondered where we were so I loudly shouted through the tour bus a question to my driver and he replied with a (either tired or angry) groan and a '30 minutes from the venue' following that, I snatched my phone from the charging cable and clicked it onto the lock screen, a picture of me and my backing band messing around in some club we found in Spain cast a light glow on my face. I checked the time, perfect. I decided I would make my way to the main area on the bus and I wearily stumbled in my half asleep state through the door frame. I cursed the fact that to get ready I was going to have to squeeze myself into the toilet and probably bang my elbow on the roll dispenser but that's what life in a tour bus gets you. Finally shoving myself into some black skinny jeans, I walked back to the main room, it was empty as most the crew got a longer lie in. I began making myself a tea to start off the day just as we pulled in to the venue.

Looking out, I was nervous as I wanted to see if there were any fans at the back entrance of the venue. We swiftly turned the corner I saw about 30-40 fans through the black tinted windows standing eagerly around the rusty gates as the bus drove through slowly. That's when I saw him standing there, his curls blowing in the heavy wind and his height making him tower above everyone. Clearly he felt uncomfortable as, while all the girls were screaming, he stood still, his nerves evident. Quickly, my short-lived wave of happiness at the fact he'd come, turned to anger as I saw the other frantic fans pushing and elbowing him away, clearly thinking he didn't deserve the chance as much as they did. His head dipped down to face the floor and a few tears may have dripped off his red tinged cheeks. I shook my head, ashamed and disappointed at how people out there were treating him.

As we parked up and came to a stop by the door into the venue, I hurriedly checked myself out in the full length mirror to make sure I was all good before the electric door clicked open and I heard screams coming from the general area of the gate. I skipped down the few stairs and onto the uneven concrete, ruffling my hair and brushing my fringe away from my eyes. Turning, I paced towards the fans however I felt a hand roughly grabbing the top of my arm, tugging me backwards and causing my to stumble slightly at the force of the grab. I was about to twist around and curse at whoever it was for causing me to loose my footing and disturbing me as everyone knew my plan but when I turned I saw my main security guard, Alberto.

“Only him, right?” He asked sternly in his deep and rough tone and I nodded as I began heading over to the cluster of fans as the screams got louder and the shouts of my name becoming more desperate. I smiled widely, showing off my teeth as I reached the gate that lined the edge of the pavement and separated me from them. I risked a sneaky glance over to him, only to see him with tears rolling down his pale skin as I had guessed earlier. He looked at me with huge, sparkling emerald eyes and they way captured and reflected the sun that was currently casting a soft glow over the city was incredible. I placed one of my hands on the cold metal of the gate and used my other hand to make gestures and calm everyone down.

“Alright guys, alright calm down. I don't have time to stop and take photos with you guys, I'm very sorry.” I paused for a breath and watched as everyone began to get angry at me, begging me to meet them however to allow enough time, I needed to go as soon as possible even if it did hurt to have to ignore a few fans, which I rarely ever did.  
“I have actually been planning something for a few days, I am here to pick up one very special person who I have been seeing every day on my social media and when they tweeted they were coming here I knew I had to give them something because they really do deserve it and I know they're here right now listening and I just wanted to say it to...” I paused, purely for tension this time, as everyone began to wearily look around at each other in confusion and slight excitement that it could be them, he still stood on the end looking slightly upset, I assumed it was because he didn't think it was him.  
“I just wanted to say it to him.” I said smiling widely as the look of realisation dawned upon them that there was only one boy on that side of the fence. Suddenly every head slowly turned to face the boy when they realised one by one.

He looked around before noticing everyone was staring intensely at him and his face morphed into one of utter shock. He began to cry harder as I looked over at him fondly, a smile lighting up my features. I walked over to where he was standing as he buried his face deep within his shaking hands.  
“I know your username is louisboyharry and you are honestly one of the nicest people I have seen on any social media of mine and I was hoping, if you would like to that is, that you would accompany me backstage for a meal as a thank you?” I said softly, taking his smaller hand and encasing it in mine. He immediately broke down in floods of tears.  
“I-I just, me, y-you saw my tweets?! Y-you want me?!” He stuttered, clearly absolutely amazed and I nodded quickly.  
“I do babe, I do. So, if you wanna come with me, I'll help you over the gate and you can come inside.” I grinned. He had to take a minute to slowly calm himself slightly, his breathing becoming more even as he forced himself to stop crying.

I leaned over the gate as it only came up to my hips and very easily lifted him up and over the gate. The moment I had set his feet on the ground, he hugged me tightly, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me in. I held him back for a minute, swaying him slightly before I picked him up, the sympathy and love controlling my caring nature. I giggled as I sat him on my hip. He loosely hugged me, holding on to the back of my oversized, soft Topman sweater. He leant forward carefully and hesitantly nodded towards my neck, silently asking if he could bury his bright red face and I made sure to keep my face fond as I gave him a small nod in return. I turned to walk away and back to the bus, taking a few steps over and away from the curb while making sure not to trip over as I hadn't quite broke in my new black Vans yet. Suddenly I remembered the saddening memory of what I'd seen earlier when I arrived. In a new angry mood at the thought, I swiftly turned back round to face the group of fans that were clearly still hopeful I would meet them as none of them had moved from their spot.  
“By the way guys, please don't call yourself a fan of mine if you push other fans out of the way. I saw you all pushing Harry off the end and it wasn't very nice of you. We're a loving family guys, don't mess that up and if you do, well, you're not in the family anymore.” I sternly ordered, as much as my high pitched voice would allow, and I turned away again.

The boy was still cradled in my arms much to his discomfort and he was squirming but he clearly didn't want to tell me to put him down (maybe because he thinks it would be rude? Awkward? I don't know). I clicked in the four digit number password for the door as it opened and allowed me in. We got inside the comfort and warmth of the tour bus and I walked through and sat him down on the same black sofa as I had been sitting on before. He was still crying continually and the stream hadn't seem to have stopped.  
“Hey boo, you okay?” I asked quietly as he was hiding his face again. Before he could reply I gently took his hands in mine and held them on his lap so he couldn't cover his beautiful (wait, what?!) face and I spoke again.  
“Don't cover your face sweetheart, no need to be embarrassed!” I joked and let out a girly giggle and he looked up at me and into my eyes and smiled.  
“I just, I-I can't believe you n-noticed me! Like you did all this f-for me and you said all that out t-there and it's just, wow, thank you, I-I love you so much like unbelievably much!” He gushed, not quite knowing how to express all the feelings he was having. I felt bad at how much I'd probably overwhelmed him but I cooed at his sweetness.

“It's no problem, take nice deeps breaths Haz and I love you more.” I encouraged as he gradually began to stop the tears dribbling down his cheeks and his rapid breaths. Finally he let out a breathy laugh and I brushed some messy hair out of his face. I let out a gasp as I looked at him, I hadn't got a chance to admire his perfectly sculpted features until now and he really was handsome, his large, bushy curls framed his chiselled jawline and his skin was so soft, his lips a type of red that you would only find on the most perfect roses. I quickly pushed those thoughts out of my head as he was purely a fan, nothing else. I turned to him,  
“Ready to go?” I asked and he nodded, a dust of red brushing his cheekbones as he squirmed shyly and I grabbed his hand and guided him down the steep tour bus steps.

Once we got to the venue I, being the gentleman I am, pushed open the door to allow him to wander through and he squealed out a thank you, trying desperately not to let his fanboy side present itself. I linked our fingers as we wandered through the dreary, slightly unpainted hallway, past the toilets and towards the very high end restaurant within the venue. We arrived at the beautiful glass, modern doors he looked up at me with puppy dog-like eyes filled with love and a hint of worry (which I put down to nervousness) and beamed an uneasy smile my way.  
“Thank you so much.” He gushed sincerely as I placed a gentle hand on his lower back to both calm and guide him. I replied with a 'no problem Haz' as we walked along the velvet red carpet to our specially reserved spot. A candle was lit and placed romantically on the middle of the small, circular table. I walked over and pulled his wooden chair out from under the table as he blushed again, sitting down carefully. Pulling my chair out, I sat down and a very smartly dressed waitress with a black skirt and a white buttoned up shirt came over and gently handed us our menus. She told us to take our time and nodded as a way of telling us we could start to decide our dishes. I put a hand at the side of my face slightly to hide my expression as I looked at him, biting down on my little finger to stop myself from laughing as she walked away. He looked around us as all the people in suits and mouthed 'it's really posh' as we both bit our lips to stop a giggle from escaping. We scanned the menu and after contemplating for a while and exchanging a few comments about certain dishes, we decided what we were having.

I lifted my head to look around the room for our waitress and she caught this motion, making her way in between the tables until she reached ours. She asked what we would like to order in the typical sickly sweet voice most waitresses have and I told her. I had picked a big meat dish however Harry's order shocked me a bit as he only had a salad. Once we had given our orders and said a polite thank you I looked over to Harry.  
“You don't have to get something small just because I'm paying you know.” I said smiling, hoping the casual comment might change his mind and he might actually eat something. He wearily shook his head, clearly hoping I wouldn't mention his order.  
“Just wanted a salad, that's all.” He mumbled, sending me a smile which I did not buy at all. It looked forced and like he was trying to disguise something but I couldn't quite tell what it was.

 

“Hey, what's wrong?” I asked, looking at him with concern lacing into my gaze. Maybe it was just a patch of nervousness, I knew that if this were me and my crush, I would be nervous too.  
“Nothing I'm fine!” He said as cheerfully as he could manage, trying to fake another, even bigger, smile. It was a little more convincing but the constant rubbing at his nose and squirming in his seat told me different. He was almost acting as if he were on drugs, but he was too alert for that. His eyes kept flickering away from me when either one of us talked and instead, he would watch the open kitchen across the room.  
“I can tell you're not happy Haz, your smiles don't have me fooled, you can tell me anything you know.” I comfortingly whispered, leaning over and placing my hand on top of his. Clearly not expecting the questioning to be as insistent, he had run out of expressions and ways to tell me he was fine.

Just as he was about to open his mouth to say something, our food arrived and I inwardly cursed the woman for interrupting us. I looked over to Harry as his dish was placed on the table mat in front of him, I watched his expression to see if it was the food he was worried about. He was staring down at his (quite small and over decorated) dish with worry in his grass green eyes, so I stared, a little too intensely, for a minute to check on him. He pressed his eyes tightly shut, clearly trying to keep a cool composure, before looking up at me again from across the table. I was shocked at how incredibly vulnerable he had become in such a short space of time as all I could see radiating from him was panic.

 

“I'm s-so s-sorry I just, I-I can't do it.” He rambled as he immediately got up, his hands pressed to his mouth, and ran straight out of the restaurant, the doors flying open as he whipped through them. I quickly followed after him as he headed into the grimy male toilets we had passed on the way in. He got in one of the cubicles and I heard the click as he sharply locked it. He clearly hadn't heard me following him as I could hear him whispering with a broken and tearful voice.  
“Stupid idiot, stupid stupid idiot, why do you have to fuck things up all the time.” I wondered who he was talking about and then I realised, he was talking about himself. I was about to speak up when, all of a sudden, horrible gagging noises plagued the silence of the room as Harry threw up again and again. I wondered if he was ill or it really was drugs. That's when it hit me with full force. I knew what was really going on. The tweets all the time about looking after myself and loving my body the way it is, the loose hugs, the ease of picking him up, the fear when he was at the doors to the restaurant, the small order, the fear of food. It all seemed so obvious. Harry was anorexic.

I let a tear roll down my face at my own stupidity and blindness as I leant on the door for stability. I began to talk to him, trying to get through to him that this isn't what he wants for himself.  
“Haz, Haz, please, you don't deserve this, you don't need to starve yourself or throw up baby, you're perfect the way you are okay a-and I love you so much. I promise that from now on I'm going to be w-with you.. every step of the way and help you get better just p-please unlock the door beautiful, let me talk to you.” I stuttered, I never could have imagined that such a wonderful, kind boy was so harsh on himself but that was probably why he was so lovely to other people. He never wanted people to feel the way he did and that broke my heart.

There was silence before I heard a lock begin to rattle as the door swung open. It revealed Harry who was sat on the dirty floor and leaning on the right side of the wall as tears streamed down his face. I gently shut the door behind us, making sure to lock it and pulled down the toilet lid, making sure it didn't make any noise. I sat on the porcelain top of the toilet as I leant the top half of my body down to Harry's level and scooped my poor little Harry into my arms and held him tightly to my chest.  
“I'm s-sorry, I'm such a d-disappointment.” He whimpered and I pressed a kiss to his forehead as I felt my heart shattering slowly at his words.  
“You are not, and never will be, a disappointment okay, I love you so much and I'm gonna help you get better, I promise.” I said as I kissed away his salty tears cascading down his face. I didn't care that he was a fan anymore, he was a person who needed help and I would never be able to live with myself knowing I didn't so everything I could.

“Louis?” He said in a questioning tone quietly and with a hint of uncertainty.  
“Yes Haz?” I replied as Harry looked up at me, his face tinted with yellow under the artificial lighting.  
“Why is life so scary? I-I'm so scared Lou, so scared.” He said, nervousness seeping heavily into his tone.  
“I know it's scary, but it's also wonderful. You don't have to be scared sweetheart, I got you, I've always got you now.” I said trying to relax him by rubbing my thumb on the sensitive skin of his arm and it seemed to work as he sent me the first genuinely happy smile I had seen from him. We sat in silence for a while as he cried a little and I pressed soft kisses to his head and muttered calming words and phases into his ear. Eventually the sniffles died down and he stopped shaking.  
"I-I'm so sorry, I s-should be enjoying this, I f-feel awful." He whispered as he began to reposition himself on my lap.  
"Don't be sorry Haz, 's not your fault, we can sort this." I smiled and Harry began playing with his large hands as his head bowed down. I felt his protruding ribs under my arm and I wondered how long he had been torturing himself like this and just how bad this had actually gotten. I wanted so badly to ask for him to show me however I couldn't afford to scare him when he was metaphorically stripped down and naked already. I debated in my head the pros and cons and decided Harry's health was my number one priority right now.

"Haz, I need you to do something for me okay. I'm not going to pressure you into it at all, just say no and I'll leave it but I just wondered if you could take your top off for me beautiful? All I want to do is just take a look to see how bad this is." I explained and Harry immediately tensed up in my arms, I was expecting that to happen and I let him think about his answer as I knew that had to be extremely difficult for him.  
"Lou, I-I just don't know if I can, the disappointment, the fat." He trailed off into his own thoughts and I could tell that this is what he told himself in the dark times when he was knelt over the toilet bowl with his fingers as deep down his throat as possible and his knuckles pressing against his mouth. That thought made me feel sick. Before I could let those thoughts claw at my brain Harry spoke up again and dragged me away from my mind.

"I guess, I-I could do it, f-for you. But please, just, I-I know I'm fat so just... yeah." He whimpered and I spoke to him as he got up cautiously.  
"Hey, hey no. I don't want you to feel like you have to do it for me. You can say no alright, I am not forcing you into anything. No matter what, you are so beautiful, I'm just scared to lose you Haz that's all." I reassured him as I held his hand loosely for safety. His eyes locked in with mine and I made sure to give him love and attention as I could see he desperately needed to be looked after. His fingers drifted away from mine as our fingertips caught before our arms fell back down the the positions they were already in. He gripped the hem at the bottom of his cotton shirt with trembling hands and pressed his eyes shut, trying to take large breaths as he was clearly panicking.

"It's okay love, take your time, it'll all be okay, I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere." I assured as he opened his eyes and looked at me and the words he said next were enough to make my heart race rapidly for the rest of my entire life as the words 'I trust you' came out of Harry's chapped red lips and my heart throbbed with love for him. He slowly began to lift his shirt up and over his slim, pale body as he pulled it over his head. I began to take in the sight splayed out before me, his milky white skin was stretched thinly over his ribs and his stomach caved in deeply. His hipbones were like daggers, jutting out from the sides of him and making his body completely angular. I looked up at his worried face and hesitantly moved my hand away from where it lay in my lap to reach out for him in a silent way of asking if I could touch him. He hopelessly nodded, tears threatening to spill over his soft eyes. My fingers traced his soft skin, barely skimming the surface with a feather light touch however as a few tears dribbled down over my pointed cheekbones.

“Can I-I Haz?” I said, leaning my head towards his stomach.  
“Yeah Lou, always.” He whispered, a smile creeping onto his face despite the awful situation. I pressed my plump lips to his almost non-existent stomach and he sharply inhaled at the new touch. I whispered softly,  
"So beautiful."  
I pressed another just under his ribcage.  
"So breathtaking."  
Another in between his nipples, in the middle of his chest.  
"So gorgeous."  
I continued until his top half had been covered with tender kisses and sweet compliments and I grabbed his scrunched up shirt from where I had placed it carelessly on the top of the toilet. I rolled it up tightly in my hands and placed the small head hole on the top of Harry's cute brown curls. I pulled the shirt down past his head and helped him put it back on. Even though his body was covered, I could still see his the state of his body imprinted on my mind. Now when he turned, I saw the way the fabric clung to his ribs, the way it draped so loosely over his shoulders and the way his collarbones stuck out of the neck hole. I wrapped my lanky arms around his frame tightly (though not too tight as I feared he might snap in half).

"I'm so so proud of you Haz. We're going to get you better," I praised and Harry nodded, looking like he finally had hope. I brought my hand up to play with the chocolate brown hair on the back of his head. When we pulled away from the hug I encased his sweaty hand in both of mine.  
"Think you can eat that salad for me sweetheart?" I asked and he quickly diverted his head and gaze down to the off-white tiled floor of the toilet cubicle.  
"I-I don't know, I'm sorry." He said sadly as he began to squirm, clearly uncomfortable with the question and his answer.  
"How about if I get you something in my dressing room and we get all cuddled up, yeah?" I said softly and calmingly, stroking his hand with the pad of my thumb as a hint of a smile graced my features. Harry smiled back and nodded, clearly more comfortable with that suggestion.  
"C'mon then Haz." I said to him, clicking and unlocking the door.

I pushed it open with one of my hands and luckily the toilets were empty as our footsteps on the hard floor echoed and I led him out of the main door as it creaked loudly behind us. We wandered through the thin corridors, badly painted cream walls either side of us and an unpleasant smell lingering in the air. We were hand in hand as we walked and I kept making sure to check on him and whenever I could see him looking uncertain or upset I would squeeze his hand tightly in mine to remind him that he was safe, he was loved and he was needed. When we arrived at my room I guided him to sit down on the double seater brown leather sofa that was placed directly in the middle of the room in front of the small flat screen TV. There were a few tables lining the edges of the room and a very claustrophobic toilet in the corner.

I made my way over to a brown wooden table that was placed behind the sofa and studied the pile of fruit on a crisp clean white plate that had been put there as a welcome by the venue. I leaned over to the plates next to it and picked one up, holding it in my hand as I began to fix him a plate of food. There were a few grapes, an apple, a few small chunks of watermelon (the things I think he'd like) but I didn't wanna put too much on as it might panic him seeing a huge pile of food so I spaced it out to make it look less. I brought it to him and he took it, placing it in his lap. I sat next to him and pulled him into me, our legs twisted and tangled together and he rested his head on my shoulder as I wrapped an arm around his back. After that I left him to eat slowly as he picked a few things up and began to bite tiny amounts off the edges. I knew if I made a fuss he would feel pressured to eat every time I said something so I didn't make any comment however I kept an eye on what he was eating and how fast he was eating it until he suddenly spoke up, although I figured he'd been thinking about it for a while now.

"I-I know it sounds stupid, but it makes me feel better i-if people rub my tummy, so maybe you..." He trailed off quietly and I inwardly cooed over the use of the word 'tummy' (majorly), seriously, Harry is just too cute to handle. I smiled down at the stunning boy curled up in my arms.  
"Of course sweetheart," I replied as I placed my hand over his shirt and began to rub wide and slow circles into the area. The air in the room still felt awkward though, like there was still something that wasn't right. I spoke up.  
"Am I doing it wrong baby?" I asked and Harry paused for a minute to play around with the bits of half eaten food on his plate before he gave his reply.  
"I-It's okay, I get that you d-don't want to feel my fat, I-I understand." He whispered as I watched a few salty tears hit the gold and red decorated china plate and I got what he wanted me to do now.  
"Hey, shh, it's not that at all, I just didn't get what you wanted me to do, I'm sorry I'm an idiot. Come here, so beautiful." I whispered as I moved down, kissed his forehead and slipped my hand under his shirt to rub his skin. He buried his head further into my chest as he picked up another grape and nibbled on it. After a few more bites, eventually he said,  
"I'm sorry, I just, I c-can't eat anymore." He whimpered and I looked down at his half empty plate, to many people it would look like he had eaten nothing but to me he had done so well and I was immensely proud of him.  
"So proud of you, you did so well love." I said, taking the plate away as I knew it would probably make him feel ill if I left it in plain sight in front of him. I carelessly discarded it by the sink and went and sat back down with him, pulling him close again.

After a few minutes of cuddling in comfortable silence I felt his hands begin to twitch and I noticed he was swallowing a lot.  
"Haz, you okay?" I asked him. He stayed silent before breaking down into a fit of tears before my eyes. I pulled him onto my lap and looked down at him as he cried.  
"Hey, hey c'mon baby, shh, it's okay, you're okay, I've got you, it's all gonna be fine." I assured as he sobbed.  
"N-Now... i-is when, w-when I would... t-throw u-up... and I-I think I-I'm gonna be s-sick." He stuttered through his uneven breaths, I could feel his heart hammering against his ribs and I rubbed his back.  
"Alright, lets get you to the toilet just in case, yeah? But it's alright, I'm right here sweetie." I said as I guided Harry to his toilet and flipped on the light.

As soon as I did, Harry fell down beside the open toilet and began sticking his fingers down his throat. I ran forward, grabbing Harry's hands and holding them both down to the floor as he was trying to gag everything back up. Tears were pouring heavily down his face as he forced his body forward and desperately tried to make himself sick.  
"Baby, c'mon stop, shh, please baby, stop this, please." I shouted over his retching sounds until eventually he realised that without his fingers he couldn't do it and he collapsed backwards onto the cold floor. He curled up in a ball and sobbed violently, the hate in his mind getting to be too much. I sat next to him, watching over him from above wondering how I was going to get him the help he needs, and I **WILL** do it.

"I-I'm a w-wreck Lou, t-too far g-gone to be s-saved... just, g-give up o-on me, i-it's o-okay." He sobbed and I leant over him and began to press my lips to the side of his face.  
"Never will I give up on you Haz, you're a strong boy, _my_ strong boy and I know we can beat this." I whispered as I gathered the broken remains of, what looked to have been, the most incredible boy in the world who was beaten down by his own mind and carried him back to the sofa. He looked so exhausted and the swipe of darkness under his eyes had become more noticeable, his rosy cheeks now seemed sunken and caved. I swept his hair away from where it had plastered to his face from either sweat or tears, I couldn't tell, and I kissed his cheek.  
“I've got you now love, I promise you'll be okay, I love you so much.” I murmured into his hair as I kissed the top of his curls and god damn was I going to do everything in my power to protect this boy because well, I think one day, I could fall in love with him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this guys, it means a lot that you took the time for it, any feedback would be nice and any suggestions or fics you want let me know! I do have a couple of things going at the minute and I could maybe add a last chapter to this if anyone would like it however I don't want to drag it out too long! Thank you again, my twitter is @cutierobandrich, my tumblr is cutierobandrich.
> 
> L xxx


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